Humility.
Saturday, June 24, 2006
♥ Saturday, June 24, 2006
Humility humility humility.
If pride made devils outta angels, humility would make angels outta devils.
C.S Lewis calls this the greatest sin (pride). Its my incorrigible and greatest mistake to have ever been so proud. What was i thinking? You're damn right; i wasn't.
Learn Marcus, learn. Without humility, what service could you possibly imagine to have? Or did i already make the mistake of imagining my service?
To all those out there, hear me! There is no room for anyone else, once all ur concerned with, is yourself. The slide from vanity to pride, is a slippery slope we must not step on.
She put it remarkably, in the wee hours of the night, that our stray from God, is to make the come back to God an even more powerful experience.
In my case, over the wk, the word 'powerful'? Wasnt exactly it. I'd use the word 'painful'. But yea, i wont sugarcoat anything. That was necessary.
Well, tomorrow's a sunday. A church day. Yet another day that will put this newfound me to the test. i will walk out there, triumphant.:)
Humility humility humility.
Who is that Man? 16/06/06-18/06/06
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
♥ Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Church camp from 16th June to 18th June.
See, i heard that this could be one of the last camps we would be doing (which i personally feel shouldnt be the case), and so i wanted to leave with a bang. Well, God sure had many, many other interpretations of wad a 'bang' was.
Have u watched Silence of the Lambs? Or Hannibal? Or Red Dragon? Its all by this author called Thomas Harris and this infamous criminal called 'Hannibal Lecter', played so cooly by oscar winning Anthony Hopkins. Now, how does this fit into camp?
See, one trait that Hannibal Lecter plays is this: the probing of minds. He's a professor in psychology and is an expert of getting into the minds of people ( in that case, it was Jodie Foster's character). Now, in camps, what is the exact purpose of a facil? Yes, Marie pointed out adequately is to aid, make easy the entry this idea of a loving God, and a Jesus who yearns for a relationship with outstretched arms (literally/metaphorically).
Nevertheless, no human intention can be completely pure, including that of a human church camp. There definitely must be the work of human powerplay: knowing what to say and what response to give at the appropriate time. Why? Because we have the responsibility to. Minds, however stubborn or mature, however innocent or brilliant, have a certain weakness. That weakness could be in the form of admiration, or nagging, or influence, or praise, or abuse or pride. Either way, even metal bends under pressure.Much less the mental. The necessity of being 'tactful' and 'strategic', is for the mind to buckle ( or bend, if buckle's too strong a word), so that we can introduce some new idea. The idea of God, for example.
I have made the camp sound too human. Its not. There's more spirituality to this camp than possibly acknowledged. The blowing of one's top is what i could be talking about: how can just saying words reptitively, or singing songs move one to bring up his or her past, or move one to the point of tears with tremendous guilt and sorrow, or make one flare up so prepostrously( after all, this is a camp where we actually promote peace)? How can words just let people hope. The very fact people hope, as a results of words said or read in a book, is the proof of the spiritual. Must we see to believe? How often we believe things we dont see. How often these things are even more real? A relationship shared between a father and a daugther, can neither be quantified nor seen.. no more than from the outside. So from the outside, a hug or a look, we gather there is something 'more' right? That 'more' is the evidence of a reality thats invisible, but all the more evident.
We're there to teach this idea of love. The most real thing ever has sadly slipped into and out of the mind, as a cliche. Thats why human powerplay is impertinent. If its at the mind the truth got lost, its at the mind where the truth have to be found, even if it be through such 'indecent' means. Thats why i brought in the example of Hannibal Lecter. And thats why i bring in the obviousness of the spiritual. I highly doubt that i am being a cynic in making such propositions, and if anybody strongly disagrees, i am all ears.
Touch time, or what is now called 121 ministry (how strange that we change its name only on the last of our camps), group sharing and the praying over are the few main instances where the magic happens. We give them first an intellectual stimulation, and then a psychological one, and finally an emotional one. These 3 sorts of stimulations are also, intimately intertwined with a spiritual stimulation. In fact, some may argue that what happens is actually all spiritual, while our attempt to qualify gives rise to words like intellectual, psychological and emotional. What magic? The magic where a person's life, governed by all that a life can be governed, suddenly shifts to an alternative source, or even considers the possiblity of shifting. The magic where people who never once looked back in their life, take that step towards. The magic where somehting that sounded so seemingly far fetched, like faith and God and Jesus, seems actually closer than ever before. The magic where people actually dares to make a change for what others think is 'no apparent reason'. Thats the magic Jesus's ministry offers.
Thats what the camp is all about. For facils to experience, be part of, and aid the happening of this magic. And thats the challenge really, daunting and liberating at the same time. For once magic happens, its a fatal flaw to slide back into mediocrity, to denounce the existence of even such magic. The tensions of my life, of church and of friends, of identity and of community, lie in the struggle to acknowledge such magic.
Praise God for a great camp. And praise God for me being his magic wand, or cap, where only He can pull put rabbits from nothing, and change wine from water. :)
Who is that Man? I want to shake his hand...
SOL:7 days
Saturday, June 10, 2006
♥ Saturday, June 10, 2006
Crap, i meant to keep it a low-key thing. But, shit happens.:)
7 days, 1 wkend, 3 books, 5 day field camp, 1 DVD, and 1 helluva movie.
Stardust by Neil Gaiman(220506) is probably the first magic-fantasy book i read. Din enjoy. I realised i like my imagination to run wild on my own. Directing creativity in imagination is kinda hindering it. Watched Mirrormask awhile back with my bro. Book was by him. About dreams, visions. Quite abstract. I think, its in abstractness that artists seek to tell the truth- this quote i learnt from the awe-inspiring V for Vendetta.
All hail the great Jodi Picoult. I think i am about to make a resolution to read ALL her books. Finished Mercy (020606). Not as fantastic as My Sister's Keeper, but still great read. About euthanasia, and how correct it is to take the life of another, upon their request. I fancy the american lawsuits. Sure more absorbing than Singapore ones. Especially with a jury. The way one plays with emotions, as in the book, or with colour, as in the movie A Time To Kill written by John Grisham, or with sex, as displayed in North Country starring Charlize Theron (nominated Best Actress). The psychology behind these mind games is super intriguing, toying with language, with the law, with people's prejudices. The ugly side of society is also its fascinating side.
I had a few good ephiphanies, few good moments of lucidity in my field camp and sol. Its weird how good things come as if they were both causes and effects of other good things, while bad things just come altogether. Its SOL on a timely occasion (if there's such a thing), and then it came in with good BMT buddy Shanker who' s also serving his SOL for his hilarious stupidity, and then it came in with this book The Saint, The Surfer and The CEO by Robin Sharma (080606), and then we watched V for Vendetta again, packed with the punch of reflection, a great friday to top it off (a good run, Daphne's party, a slightly drunk me, fun dancing, and cool company) .
About the drunk part, dont read too much into it, though i enjoyed the part where i was completely not self conscious anymore. I think there's a certain art to living in not being self-conscious. Its freedom! No reflections, no intentions, no fear, no awkwardness, no nothing. Just dancing. You know you're there, and you relish the moment, you savor the taste and flavour of being- soemthing i learnt from Robin Sharma. I hate the term self help. But thats the genre of his book, and tonnes of stuff i learnt from it. About life, again. :)
Am gonna tell Val all about it when we hit out salad buffet at Sizzler's!
V for Vendetta. I know i blogged about this before. But just doesnt do justice to the genius of the movie. How do they do that, you ask. They use the term phenomenon because it dont happen so often! With The Matrix trilogy and then, this! Granted, its from a graphic novel. Still! Feels like a timeless,
timeless classic. The kind that the more you watch, the better it gets. And hell yeah to hugo Weaving as Mr Smith and V. "Remember, remember the 5th of november...the gun powder treason, i dont see why the gun powder treason should ever be forgotten" The movie is a
victory with a capital V.
5 days field camp. 4 days of rain. Lim Chu Kang. As a recce. You get the pic.
I never penned down much about my NS. Maybe cuz its not done and im a little superstition about penning things down, before its over. But wad i learnt, is that its all about attitude. To be happy, and to enjoy and to endure.
We all must know what we have to do. Our lives are too short to let it be meaningless. And we must not fear our light. The light of doing what we want, of being who we are. Life is not a school to learn. Life is a big reflection of who we are. We must relish every opportunity to love and care. Give, give and give. No longer me, but you. We must know that we can be bigger than ourselves. No one has power over us, more than that which we give them. Who has the right to say what is mine and what is yours? Hasnt all been given by that which is above? No regrets, only release. We must not look back sad. We must look back glad. Let the past serve, as they only can. Mistakes only are mistakes when we repeat them. Remove all prejudices at once. We are all flowers on the same meadow, basking in the same sunlight, that shines on all. What good does it do to say one is more colourful than the other, or one serves more purpose than the other. All for the greater beauty that life is. We are big and we are small. We can move mountains and we are only a speck in the universe. A single thread in the tapestry, though its colour brightly shine, can never see its purpose, in the pattern of the grand design. Shall we not know how to love? And so we shall not know ourselves either. But, and there is
always a but, if we love, we undo the knots and we wipe the wounds, we create smiles from tears and peace from war. We must be free. In the land of the free, i stand in awe. In the land of the wise, i bow humbly. And in the land of love, i dance carelessly.
Whooh! Now thats soemthing of an epiphany. :)
