Running.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
♥ Sunday, April 27, 2008
What i will dwell into, is what some might call the psychology of running. The basic motivation behind running- why does a person (or I) run.
People run for 2 reasons. They run to something, or they run away from something. There are no other reasons that are more basic to this.
Running to- literally? to lose weight, to grab that championship or baton, to look good aesthetically, to be challenged, whatever. Take it one step deeper. A person runs to a destination because that is a microcosm of what life has been about. The very words "pace of life" suggests walking and with speed. Running is then a metaphor of what life has been about, and what life is going to be about. The paper "chase", the daily "run" of events, the "motion" of life, are all movements that in some way or another, we are a part of. Running, is man's theatrical display of his life is a short span of an hour- that perseverance, motivation, disappointment, that shortness of breath and that fatigue that all gets to us, that achievement and endorphin rush that seems to give life its meaning. So why do we run? Because we want to express ourselves.
I think Sophie's world gave me the idea that somehow the world was a stage; or that the greatest comedies were those that reflected the true realities of man mosttt honestly. Looking at the caricatures and political rhetorics or satires, there is huge amount of truth in this theory actually. Now that being said, when it comes to running, it is useful to see it as just another form of display.
Running away? Well that has its metaphorical allusions to the world as well doesnt it. Adrenaline is what gives rise to a "fight or flight" situation (namely when one faces fear); that same hormone is being produced before one embarks on a run. Running in some sense is liberating because of the fear it exculpates. In that short burst of 100 m, one enjoys the sanctity of freedom of mind, away from the hustles and bustles (i would even go so far to say that in that short 30 secs, man can experience what buddhists call ZEN), and it is the perfect medium for connecting with God. Because that is when one is completely free. He is neither held back by the chains of reality or illusion, nor the shackles of ambition and self-consciousness, he is not held back by the test tomorrow or the work due next week. He is free.
They say "be still and know that i am God". Really? Perhaps that is a level i have yet attain. But my point of view is completely in contrary to that- i think Man experiences God when he is going at his fastest. The times i've sprinted (ok well to many others, that could just be an equivalent of their jogging), I can testify it was nothing short of fantastic- there is some sort of philospical "wipe out of thoughts" so to speak- there's first whatever is on my mind and that is gradually erased by the only reality before me- the run. At no point in time in my life can i say that i have had so much focus on a single aspect.
I perhaps have given escapism a whole new meaning. What maybe i am trying to say is that, it is within man's capacity to find his freedom. Whilst i might have found a glimpse of mine in running, it should challenge the reader of this blog to find his.
I.N.S.P.I.R.A.T.I.O.N
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
♥ Wednesday, April 09, 2008
For all those who are having their exams, and all those who are about to, this post is for you.afflatus \uh-FLAY-tuhs\, noun:A divine imparting of knowledge; inspiration. Afflatus is from Latin afflatus, past participle of afflare, "to blow at or breathe on," from ad-, "at" + flare, "to puff, to blow."
What is the beginning usually like? We start with no clue whatsoever on what the topic is, reading it once or twice is perhaps insufficient; there are the more interesting things to do, better storybooks to read, the enticing allure of that snack and of course what could possibly be more tempting than the seductive comfort of the bed and the nap. At this point in time, you've only started facing the reality of studying. At actually getting down to it, you still have no clue, but you know that well, you had better start finding out. So you spend 2 hours on a question that you think would have taken your friend 15 mins to accomplish. You call him up, he gives you the answer in a second. You experience the pleasure of understanding somehting, finally, but the agony of knowing that you are that far behind. It is at this point in time that work makes all the difference. Consider the fact that there is simply no time to give up; consider the fact that whilst you've had mediocre grades in your previous sem, this sem is yet another opportunity- and whilst realistically speaking it perhaps might not give you the grade you believe you deserve (maybe your expectations is something that we should be discussing!) this exam is still an opportunity to prove that you have it in you. Then, afflatus steps in. What you didnt know then, you sorta know now. How do you attain this? Well, Edison's formula works quite well. 99 percent sweat and 1 percent genius. Of course, works needs to be done. But there will be some divinely inspired light on the subject, some angle at which it all makes sense. What your lecturer said in the past, that you've had hardly any comprehension of, begins making a teeny weeny bit of sense. For that is the breath of wisdom whizzing past your intellect, giving it a fresh perspective and greasing the rusty hinges of the mind and opening up the door to elucidation.That is the beginning of understanding. And that is where your destination comes into focal clarity (be it A, B or C).The patchwork of information, those vast heaps of notes that you memorised will then begin fitting into its respective places. That formula, with that lecturer's comments, with that dean's lister's notes, coupled with the tutorial, gives you a grip on what is going on. And that grip....is everything. That grip on the foundational stepping stones of your education is the exact grip you'll need for the examinations. For in all the lectures i have attended, there is always that same emphasis on basics.What is studying, really but just a re-digesting of information? Studying requires disection of materials, of asking questions and being patient for the answers. It is an intellectual quest for whatever ends. And Afflatus is the daily impetus to digest that material. It is not easy, we can all admit that, as students. However, what separates one from another, is not so much intellectual abilities, more than inquisitiveness. It is inquisitiveness that will give him that grip and that same inquisitiveness that divides the A from the B. But its fascinating isnt it? From being ignorant to being informed. The intellectual stretch with every equation solved; the affirmation of every right answer; the satisfaction of each comprehension..is where the joy of studying is. And that, is inherent in every single subject, be it pharmacy, chemistry, engineering or law. The stretching of the mind not only to memorise but to assimilate, to determine what is relevant, to acknowledge which formula goes to solve which question is a journey for which everyone has embarked upon, not only in the beginning of education, but the beginning of life! For an engineer, like a lawyer, like a pharmacist, like a doctor asks, "what works?" "i do not know" should NEVER be a stumbling block. Our knowledge for subjects is humblingly finite (and alarmingly so, in the midst of exams). However, our capacities for acquiring them, isnt. And if you can find that deep-seated joy in the simple activitiy of studying, you'll see that studying becomes more effective, more worthwhile and the grades you expect will definitely become feasible.
a tough lesson in humility and sensitivity.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
♥ Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Interesting how in the past 2 days i have managed to piss off 2 friends in school successively, effectively. The experience was nothing short of gruelling. Friends in school. I have quite a few of them, yes. But we display a different kind of sincerity, a different kind of communication, maybe a different kind of senstivity altogether. Whilst i had that 'chat' with D, i realised it is not easy to ask for understanding, nor is it right to. In fact, sensitivity demands that nothing should be asked for, only accepted. Not only that what was done was wrong, it has nothing to do with what was meant and sent, only what was received. And that took alot out of me. S, pissed-off-friend-number-2, asked me "i dont understand why you have to keep this wall around you by being annoying". Deep; and when S said that it seemed as though there was a slight glimpse of an offer to understand me. Or so i thought. Nevertheless, it was good advice. Whilst i can be all psycho-analytical about this, i guess i realised that there are persons to me who matter. Even in law school. Strange as that might sound. And to have upsetted someone who is isnt a nice feeling. Especially when reasons become excuses, any more offers of explanations become "explaining things away". It is a difficult lesson to learn, and maybe the utmost necessary. To watch and learn, observe and listen, speak less and hear more. Cant deny at how irritated i am at this-a part of me asks "what the heck is wrong" another part of me says "well just work at it you know"; another part goes "crowd-pleaser" and yet another part mutters " human dynamics" and the last part sighs " oh man what is happening". And i guess i roughly know what is, in fact, going on. What i am learning is not new i guess..just interpersonal skills. Something that if i actually acquired in church, i dumped in the army. And when D said "dont push it" with every question i asked (and this is one of those few situations where i tried to tread very carefully), it was like in a field of landmines, a step too much and something blows.To give a little background info: For S and D i always thought we communicated differently (maybe as time passes i'll come to learn that there are more ppl i communicate in the same way, but for now i think its just S and D), its usually a lot of teasing alot of hilarity, little things that are serious but i just thought that was the way things worked. Guess i was wrong. It just isnt. They are looking for respect and compassion and i am guessing that whatever transpired only showed that i have anything but.And this is wreaking alot of havoc. It is confusing as it is frustrating, especially in the midst of important tests and events. Especially since i am going to be at closer working proximities with them and most importantly because i think they are friends worth keeping. And so, yes this is a tough lesson to learn. And i think i need to learn, between my pride and the friends around me, who or what is exactly important.
