Saturday, January 27, 2007
♥ Saturday, January 27, 2007
How Has It Been?Im one week away from being done with army. Before i lose all memory of what happened, lets go through the illustrious and more-often-than-not humourous list of events that took place, and that laid an enigmatic foundation to receive the civilian world all over again.
Chronologically, (or how it comes to mind)
1) Into to BMT with Jie and Mum. Daryl called me the night itself, was in a place of complete uncertainity.
2) Got to know Ivan Ong, in alot more depth over a single guard duty session
3) POP with Mum Jie and Kenny attending.
4) Actual unit life begins.
5) Downgrade and then upgrade. - Learned to face my reality with courage.
6) Nonchalance for comm life sets in dramatically- what used to be sheer passion, waded off over time and indifference.
7) Set up Cell Group with Nathaniel, Hau Tzeng, Nicholas Koh, Wilson, Brendan, Gabriel.
8) Course- overseas trips- outfields- nothing out of the ordinary for a typical nation-serving patriot. ha.
9) The beginning of the hiccups and screwups. Mosquito Coil, lost components, mp3 player, the whole she-bang. The rule of causality demands punishment. So, the scolding, the signings, the charging. Argh.
10) The books. An average of 1 book a week. The search for purpose and peace through it.
11) Grace. Definitely. The search for and the finding. No pun intended.
12) Church camps? 2 sec 2s and 1 sec 3. The final camp nailed the coffin on comm.
13) Which led to the inevitable departure.
14) The songs that constantly tided me through- Dance with My Father, God's Will.
15) The eventual conviction of what i want to do. What i have to do.
16) The false and the real, in the friendships and in who i am.
17) Difficult people and tense situations, the masks we wear, and the human underneath them.
18) Coming to terms with Comm over time and grueling CST.
19) Camaraderie that need constant replenishing, that adversity brings about.
20) People who were there, for an instance
21) people who were there, throughout
22) moulding of thought and confidence, slowly but surely.
23) Christmases
24) Friends- Gabriel, Desmond, Zong Rong: you are the people i rely on and who give me the motivation and company to go on.
25) Friends- Nath and Hautzeng: you are the inspirations the cell group needs, and the perspectives that we couldnt have done without
26) Friends- Brendan and Marcus: We've had our differences, but i was glad i went aus with you, and to Marcus, its an overwhelming tearjerker to see you arrive in your jeep to fetch us every outfield. haha.
And i will perhaps add to the list, in due time. It was a fantastic ride.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
♥ Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Social Awareness. One huge hurdle to cross.
My bro blogged one about emotions. Now for the sheer excitement of argument, somewhat inspired by yesterday's titillating encounter of MGS vs St Nicks, in The Arena, and because i am particularly brain-dead and have to start 'cranking' up the engines, lets launch foolishly into debate.
We shall mimick the rules of debate and state a proposition. Now given my brother's blog, the effective proposition would be "Emotions are an essential tool to life", my brother so eloquently expressed. Well, he just said emotions are tools. But that leaves little room for debate since just about everything can be.
Emotions are nothing more than electrical impulses stimulated by our sensory systems. If we establish that as a definition or common ground for understanding, we can naturally rule out how emotions provide us such tools to life. For circumstances as perceived by the individual are effectively well, individual, one might actually go so far as to think what emotions is perceived by which individual, and if such, does it really prove to be of substantial worth.
Yes of course, in a matter of fight or flight, adrenaline does bring up the feeling of say nervousness, anxiousness, excitement. Thats established by the science advocates. Well, hypothetically, are they ONLY the tool to life? Is there no rationality involved? And lets give a person incapable of rationalising, are emotions going to serve him in the way most adequate to react to a tense situation?
One argument atheists hold in contempt for say, organised religion, is the way the notion of fear is being instilled. Moral imperatives now have no longer a philosophical foundation, but an emotional one: which also means if one actually rationalises such the idea of 'hell' or 'condemnation', and finds no meaning in it, and as a result does not fear it, well... we are effectively approaching the idea of chaos and anarchy arent we? So yes, fear does govern, but if we give it such importance and remark it as a tool to life, we are expressing more than that which is necessary. Emotions are at most, useful.
Now, we are free to redefine and reallocate parameters to the meaning of emotions, since according to wikipedia and its vast resources, 'the term has no single universally accepted definition'.
Nevertheless, emotions serve as part of a social and perhaps cultural construct. A cannibalistic native would probably see and experience murder very different from a say, you. A policeman who witnesses murder probably confronts it alot less non chalantly as from a businessman. Point being, we can generalise and speak about compassion and empathy and passion as "drives", but ultimately its choices, made more often on rational thought and decisive action that makes all the difference.
In fact, given that, we might wanna consider whether emotions have more often than not been a nuisance! What does 'a night of passion' means to you. Does it 'feel' like an emotionally charged, loosely thought out one- night- stand, for the sheer purpose of say...emotional satisfaction? Hell, the meaning of manslaughter effectively means 'murder without malice aforethought', which generally happens in a fit of say, anger? The emotion described so euphemistically as the outburst of truth, just happened to cover that aspect of truth up didnt it? ( Ok, dont get offended man, its for argument's sake and im bored.)
Walk through the thoughts of theologians and theists, and they probably tell you abit about emotions. Then, they would tell you abit about love. And finally, as if out of ostentatiousness, they will tell you the difference between love and emotions. Does a marriage couple 'feel' as much as they did, the way they did ten years before? Perhaps. But perhaps not. Emotions as tools to life??
....................................feel like i can go on. But, am tired. And it leaves room for debate. perhaps in my next post.
Anyway, there's stuff to be done tomo!
1) simlim
2) beach road
3) watch illusionist with mel
4) catechist meeting
5) confession!
ok the numbers are NOT indicative of their priorities. haha. But argh, there's just so much to do.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
♥ Sunday, January 14, 2007
And what was the week like? Hectic.
Blood Diamond! i thought Djimoun Hounsou's (the african guy?) acting was superb. ' i am your father...and you are my son', that part was especially moving. And comment all you want about DiCaprio. But he's starred in some of the epics and 5 star classics man. Gangs of New York, Titanic, The Departed. Golden Globe winner..i already see an oscar coming up.
I watched with Torrence, Linus, Yi Ming and Chian Yee.
These are my pals. And this year's birthday, i have got a very good mind to make it really somehting for them. Then there's Desmond and Munpun's.
I find it intriguing planning such stuff. Like how i was involved with Gab's? thats my platoon mate, and best buddy. Innocent and humble, a person i've come to trust and rely on.
If i learnt something from army, its really how to deal with people. But with Gab, i need not know such technicalities. I can just be free and he'd listen.
Then there was Chian Yee' s birthday yest! Is always fun being out with the marist guys la. There's something about the past that we hold on to so tightly, that generates such warmth when we get together.
Oh man, i always do such posts when im slightly emo. haha..but its good la, i know a few months or years down the road when i look back, it'll be fond memories.
There's something about my life i have not confronted and am continually trying to vanquish.
Fear.
Its that which gets me agitated about people and stages and talks.
Its that which forces my ideas back down my throat.
Its that which stops me from loving.
Its that which stops me from shining.
Its that which i will break out of.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
♥ Sunday, January 07, 2007
WHAT A WEEK
1) there's sending Aunty Anula to Physio and getting into a short tiff with my army mates cuz they just cant understand how much i needa go hospital.
2)Alright, then there's Shella's birthday tt i couldnt attend, cuz gotta send Fang Long off.
Tt day, had a great talk with Alvin after what seemed like years. hah. Brilliant guy and with fantastic topics that intrigue and liberate.
3) Chian Yee's birthday, bought him a cake-durian by the way. Proud of myself. Got to meet up with Victor, another long-time-no-see, friend. Remember my 2 posts back about friends and covering ground? Tt was quite like it.
4) Gobind's birthday and Jonathan Chia's birthday.Nice meeting up with Eve, Char, Shella, Daniel, Galvin, John and of course bday boy gobind himself.
And Jonathan Chia's? The usual marist gang, that i played soccer with earlier this morning and assisted in the scoring of a
GOAL!!!ok yes, sounds like damn mediocre achievement, but seriously man...i was instrumental to that goal, and it sure felt GOOD. haha.Also, thanks to the very encouraging marist friends la. Always feel crappy playing soccer with them, cuz too lousy. :)
And what's ahead??1) Meeting with army friends for Gab's present. Damn stress man. Really wanna make it a special one for him. Proving more and more difficult.
2) Meeting lynette, and her birthday's the next day. So well, let's see how unique i can make the meet up.
3) Next wk's Gabriel's and Chian Yee's birthday celebration on the same day!! Gotta jump here and there la..
4) and wk after's John's birthday. Oh my goodness and i promised him i'll do the organising, which i must la. It's his 21st, and i think the class treated him horrendously, though he's still seen as part of us. So, this is my own way of redemption, and i guess its just nice to show he's still appreciated as a VJ friend, and that withstands the test of time.
5) There's guard duty. Yea...
6) Somehow...just SOMEHOW, i've become a catechist. needa find that conviction, and intellect and charisma.
John 10:10, "i have come so that you might have life,
and to have it to the full"What a start. Hhaa..and im pretty much bankrupt.
Monday, January 01, 2007
♥ Monday, January 01, 2007
Yesterday and Today.We reached the 2 very unique days of the year. Yesterday, and Today.
The Past and the Present pave the way for the future. Thus, yesterday and today, makes up the tomorrow that we hope for.
Yesterday we reflect, yesterday we remember and yesterday we take stock.
Today, we make resolutions! Today, we make choices and today we seize.
So, lets talk Yesterday. To begin.
Yesterday, i remember.
I remember the Places- Thailand, Hong Kong, San Francisco, Australia.
I remember the new faces- cheryl, renji, BSO, jackson, poh,shanker, Grace?
I recall the movements- into law, and outta comm.
I recall the days- yiming's bday, sec2camp, the SOLs, the Extras, the sentosa trips
I remember the old faces.
I remember the movies. Definitely, the movies. :)
And the gift of today. The Present.
Make no mistake, today we begin a path to greatness.
Today, we make things happen: we'll cross our boundaries and break our limits, we'll enter unfriendly terrain and we become Columbuses of our lives.
For all who can understand the potential this day holds for all of us- it is the day where epiphanies flow, where decisions inspire where resolutions pave the path for a Man to become fully alive!
Why? Because we hit a threshold. We're at another beginning. True, this beginning is not independent of yesterday, but we get to say 'hey, that was yesterday'. Today we get another shot.
What we lost yesterday, today's our day to fight back and retrieve. Today's brilliance will make up for yesterday's darkness. Today will heal yesterday's wounds.
Time is God's gift to the human race. And today, we stand in awe of that Present.
This gift, puts us in a certain position of strength. Why? Perspective. Yes, perspective.
Yesterday's disappointment and cynicism makes us cry our for a saviour. We hit a dead end, and yesterday morning, the air we heaved out was one of resignation.
Today, we put things in a proper perspective! I meant to use 'another perspective', but proper makes right.
This morning, a new breath of air hit us. Key word here is 'new'. Fresh, cool, illuminating and refreshing breath of morning atmosphere grips us. Because there is no longer a dead end- we find a door. More than that, we find that the door is unlocked.
What is that? Opportunity. Chance.
So what if people hurt us? So what if we feel stumbled by inadequacies? So what if we have lost?
Today we get up. We wipe off the blood and sweat, we take that breath of fresh air, tighten that clenched fist and continue the bout.
The day is pregnant with possibilities and with that, endless chances!
And with that, lets not ask whether we have, but lets instead do. We were made for beauty. As marianne williamson goes, this life will be a spectacle. And on this day, we grip our magnificence as we wait in glorious hope as we begin retrieving, we begin claiming and we begin believing; today is that Big Break. Today, we live.
