We are where we place ourselves

Sunday, February 25, 2007

♥ Sunday, February 25, 2007

THE QUOTIDIAN

A play just ended. 'Longings and Belongings', they called it: one's mental instability culminated in a murder and ultimately a search to reconcile the past.

He walked into the crowd, a sea of blank faces. Its strange how we can feel alone even in a cherpy crowd.

A light brush, a polite smile, a bouquet of flowers: behind gestures he hides through feelings of alienation. How is it that one could be so impossibly out of place? Is it possible that God made too many creatures for all so many things, he forgot to give one, one?

Longings and belongings. We long to belong, and yet we long too long, sometimes. Times places too many restrictions on far too many things.

An average person has 7 years to successfully enter the education system, another 18 to successfully leave, another 4 to cast a career,32 years to make a living, and another 20 years to rest.

Miss one of those, well, you just die more tired.

And yet, we ask for more. More within the quotidian. From sunrise to sunset, there has to be an illusory beauty that captivates. Is it friendship? Is it love?
Is it anything we can possibly find, whilst living?

He walked along. Today is the day, after 25 years of being. Being what? Being who? It was sheer being; it wasnt living and he knew it.

Leaving the crowd, he gathered speed and let his thoughts bring him into the fine darkness. Here, he leaves in truth, for its when we barely see anything, that we get to focus on the neccesary.

He stumbled upon an open patch. Here was where they said lay a cemetary. A cemetary that was to be built over. He wondered how strange it was that some would go all out to retain memories, whilst others would go all out to destroy them. Would love be a memory to retain, or destroy? He wondered

Today, he visited someone. She used to be a huge person, larger than life. But time caught up with her. The time that reminds all, biblically, ashes will become ashes and what was from dust, will become dust.

It caught up with him. In such twilight, it was ironic that he was at his most lucid. Who was she? What was she like? If death comes to all, what makes a good death? Frailty, adversities has an enormous power on keeping us held to the ground. Keeping us real. Psychiatrists remark that a good percentage of patients who resort to hurting themselves are involved in what is more philosophical than psychological- they need to realise that they are around.

For him, that image of complete dependance, on regurgitating whatever she ate, on looking on listlessly, dealt the same effect. Reflecting on it made him realise he was around.

Words had so much power. Words like "cancer' sealed fate. Words like "terminal", and "last few days" and "sorry" changed philanderers and drunkards into guilt-stricken, deep penitant philosophers.

He wondered which was his word, that sealed his fate. Which was the word that could really change. which was the word that described his 25 years of pathetic existence?

Ahead a sight loomed into focus. A group of devout worshippers gathering and making what looks like a pilgrimage: from a certain end to another, holding candles and singing hymns. Curiosity gripped him.

There were something in those woshipper's eyes, that he'd seen in his own a long while back. Was that a smile he saw? Was that a tear? What could move these people to reveal so much of themselves? He moved closer.

There he stood, in growing awe of the spiritual. People came together, without the veil of gestures, handshakes and smiles. People came together regardless of what they thought of each other. They were together, to be together.

Ahead, the candle light dispelled the darkness.

Ahead, the hymns filled melancholy with melody.

Ahead, he didnt understand. He only felt. It didnt matter the reason of what they were doing. It mattered what happened during what they did.

Ahead, the entire day replayed itself in a different key. The musical, the crowd, the time in the dark, the reflections in front of the cemetary, took on what could only be described as 'light'.

Light that broke through loneliness, monotony and morbidity.

Ahead, for possibly the first time in his life, he thought he saw a glimpse of himself.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

♥ Saturday, February 10, 2007

scent of a woman.

Does this sound like your typical horny or sentimental, bimbo all's-well-that-end's-well kinda show? Or does this sound like a murderous, sick 'basic instinct', 'silence of the lambs' kind of movie title? The truth is...

Well, truth be told, there are so many themes interwoven brought so subtly and yet powerfully by the God of actor himself, Al Pacino, that one cant really say for sure, what genre should this fall under. Romance? Well yea. Or was it? Comedy? Hha..almost.

Lets begin trying, as people without credentials nor name, to discover the brilliance behind this queer genre of such magnificence.

Al Pacino holds a charisma not many can hold a candle to. The only one i can really think of, that perhaps matches, is John Travolta. Nevertheless, he's a movie veteran with masterpieces like Heat (michael Mann), The Godfather, Devil's Advocate!! Now, he star as an degenerated, disillusioned, dismissed Colonel. The show doesnt go into detail of how he's suffered. But thats the genius behind the acting: the subtle story telling, and tear jerking confrontations with co-actor Chris O'Donnell, reflects a life devoid of hope and love. A life seeking redemption and recovery.

And yes, its a weekend that 'lives will never be the same'. All too cliched, and the first impression that hit me was...one more Tuesday With Morrie. And the sigh.
The way this movie is being screened is just about the complete antithesis of Tuesdays with Morrie, with cynicism, lust, anger and lost. But the theme eventually brought out, is subtly one of love, of dignity, of integrity, of honesty, and of honour.

I think, its the way Pacino grabs attention effortlessly. Or I think its the way he speaks. Or I think its the way he tangoes. "when you get tangled up, you tango on..."

And that tune of tango, in the way its screened with the all-too-charismatic Pacino on it, is a sight of pleasure. Its not a pleasant sight. Its a pleasurable sight. Pleasant sounds like its just easy on the eyes. Pleasurable: there's a certain joy and a longing that such a moment would never end, as all pleasures do.

Am I an expert on dialogue? No. Am I an analyst on screen play and movie directing? Definitely not. Do i have any credentials whatsoever to make judgment on how and why a movie is oscar-deserving? NO! But, as a simple movie viewer, who goes through the crux and struggles of life, and acknowledge the numerous and desperate cries for a saviour, I can say that i am a representative of that very average joe, to make a comment on a deep portrayal of friendship developed, in all realism and synchrony with the mordern day dillemmas of 'to-be or not to be'.

And lastly, i am a man of facts. And one fact is this. Its an Oscar winner of 93! Best Actor. Nuff Said.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

♥ Sunday, February 04, 2007

There's no other way...than to say goodbye.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Ross, Rachel, Pheobe, Joey, Monica, Chandler and Rachel. The 7 idiosyncracies of humour, enjoyment, fun, sadness and most essentially, love that grabbed my attention in '06.

And now, 10 seasons, thats almost 10*24= 240 episodes, and alot of money.. has ended. The wonder of this season (and FYI the only season that i ever really followed from start to end), is that the characters, and the humour- sarcasm or slapstick, are all well, real! Yes its entertainment, but i am willing to bet, that after 10 seasons, many will agree that such entertainment has become more than simply wasting away time. Would i go so far as to say it has become a part of me?

And thats done. Sadly.

mp3 player

well, thats gone as well. My fantastic companion drumming its inspiring and adrenaline-pumping tunes into me, getting my speed high and the time low. Keeping my spirits up to do the all-time-classic-sprint from serangoon cc to shell petrol kiosk, with 'How Great is Our God'!

That was really stupid of me, to just leave it there and happily walk off without it. How could I?
Just like the bicycle when i was in pri sch, jsut like the baby g and Seiko!

Marcus & Nathaniel

Down Under. Goodbye and good luck. These memories will stay etched and wondrous for the years to come, till we meet again. Whats like singing gay music under the stars? Whats like sweeping the road every morning,with only each other as support? Whats like reaching out to each other in times of 'crises'? Whats like making fun and a fool of each other?
Thats something not many will know.

Wed late nights

Ok, this is not somehting nostalgic. Its something i have really had enough of.
This clubbing thing has stopped man. 1 bad experience, i can still handle. 2, probably tolerate and see pass. but 4??

FOUR times this place feels like the epitome of superficiality. The masquerade of todays' society is in the form of mascara, figure, the correct eye-signal, the 'appropriate' dance 'manuevers'.
The starting sequence of 'Crash', has this saying 'we long for touch so much we actually have to crash into each other to feel someone'.
I believe that clubbing essentially is that. Just that they dont crash, they pay 23 dollars. The girls just go in, anyway.

Blasting, vulgar 'thumps' ( i wouldnt even attempt to call that music), has taken the place of meaningful conversations- how we attempt to know people in the past, and how we attempt to know them now, is dramatically different. I read this article in Economist, of how people in france, hold conversations that essentially reveal a person's social strata and personality. That was the 18th century. Today.. apparently simply scrutinising a person from head to heel, in the dazzle of lights and booze, with a background of noise, effectively gives a man his measure.
Imagine if say...st Augustine were to live in 21st century!
We have ministry of education, law; we have children and adult ministries in church; and we have the ministry of sound.

So yes, goodbye to that. FOR GOOD.

9 o'clock show
Although i didnt watch every episode, i still enjoyed it for what it was worth.
Yes, typical channel 8 serial, but with a very melodious soundtrack.
Think it was pretty wise directing, and for singapore, pretty darn good acting.
Using 'chasing cars' and composing 'xiang ting de hua', was very effective in drawing out emotions and enhancing the moment.
Trying desperately to get the songs tho.