We are where we place ourselves

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

♥ Wednesday, March 28, 2007

There are just some things that perk this meagre excuse of an existence.

One of which are irretrieably, and undeniably- birthdays.

Its one of those days you are reminded that you exist. To yourself, to the people around you, even to the anonymous.- i just received 2messages from strangers i barely got acquainted with.

Sometimes, such reminders are imperative. When you lived a good twenty one years, with the nagging questions and the disappointing answers, you stop bothering... the camouflage of answers and truth are not invulnerable to time. Time reveals what is necessary...in a matter of time.

Certainly there will be expectations. Of your birthday, and people of you. But Catherine Lim said, in the case of parents, expectations and hopes, and even well wishes...more often than not, come in the annoying form of admonitions. So, well, a parent's love to a child effectively begins with...some sorta scolding. How about friends? Well, they express it under slightly different circumstances. Forget the reasons at which they do. Instead, lets scrutinise the how!

Some would drop a message, more of endearment...some would drop you a call, catch up on old times. Some, with the proliferation of the internet, would use email or the chatrooms like msn..to drop some amiable note of congratulations. Perhaps a surprise would wait for you around the corner? Perhaps not. The excitement that lies with friends, is that there is very little room for prediction.

I had one of the most exciting quarrels of my life. At first glace, when one mentions a quarrel, it invokes a sympathy, a call to understand? Or perhaps a baseless judgement on one's bellicose character? Either way, that bears no matter to me.

The quarrel started with Desmond asking why there wasnt a movie. And then yiming with his blatant attempts to push the blame. And then my defensive mechanisms got psyched up. Ended with torrence's attempt to analyse and make the situation palatable enough to not be the victim. There was so much fun in it. Maybe it was because of the prior anger, and the impossibility of us to get angry with each other. Maybe it was just at that point in time, nobody wanted to get angry, but they just wanted to get the issue out of them. Maybe hilarity was innate in friendship. I do not know.

And yes, it carried on for a good while...with a huge commotion. Such joy in such belligerence. Desmond, regretful for the upheaval he caused. Linus and Mun Pun laughing away at the hilarity of the sudden explosion. Yi ming irritated at my recalcitrance, torrence smiling and making his comments felt, and i berating my head off, Chian Yee a third party to the argument,. trying to shift the entire matter to a different subject.

Therein lies the truth of a matter. That when people, friends , come together, it is not so often commonality that binds...but sometimes, sheer freedom of stupidity. we're free to express, holding nothing back. No ambitions, no need to hide behind veneers of intellect and spirituality, nothing... because nothing is revealed... and actually, everything is.

I think i am reading too many jodi picoult...haha thats why my emotional reflections also take off from where she left. But cant help it really..she's just so damn good. Waiting for someone to get me Nineteen Minutes! argh...haha hope i don have to spend another 20 bucks on her books.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

♥ Sunday, March 18, 2007

To STOP and THANK God once in a while, is healthy and necessary.

1) For the various interviews that keep me occupied, thinking and focused.

2) For the Law Open House. It was inspirational and i needed such a platform for certain personal reasons.

3) For the meetup with Charmaine and Daniel to watch Rocky Balboa.

4) For the free tickets to watch Hannibal Rising with Melvyn.

5) For friends who were wiling to wait for me to come back from HK to watch Protege

6) For rather interesting Cath Class that i had a good mind to miss.

7) For the great laughs that ALWAYS happen whenever i am around that bunch.

8) For the wondrous opportunity to facilitate in Yishun Primary and Xingnan Primary. Fantastic experiences with the adorable children. Playing a role in people's lives had never been more fulfilling.

9) For Ethan's card. Thank You Ethan. You were the earliest to wish me..though i am still getting used to the ethan nehemiah-thing.

10) For the hangout with VJs, and the short dinner meetup cum celebration they held for charmaine and I.

11) For driving to East Coast with Mel and Aunty Anula.

12) For the new Jodi Picoult Book thats out and that i am seriously considering buying.

13) For this holiday being such a meaningful albeit expensive one.

Yes...its been so long since i typed something here. Partly because of blogger. Been a ride of my life. Not much reflections..though quite often i sink into my deep thoughts. One thing i have constantly asked myself recently though, was this " is this what being trully alive means??"

So many mundane stuff...many would say. But in it, there is just so much more. The intangible that is the most real. 'Life is made bearable by the stories we save and tell."- Catherine Lim. Somehow, i've saved up quite a number of stories to make my life more euphoric than just bearable.

In that, i do still have abit of things to deal with-

my time is almost up. I have to make a decision as pertaining to msc.

Lent. The little bit of time. It wasnt a complete waste, thats for sure. Now its how to use it better.

loooooong overdue

Monday, March 05, 2007

♥ Monday, March 05, 2007

8 GREAT THINGS THAT HAPPENED, IS HAPPENING, OR ABOUT TO HAPPEN

1) Hong Kong!
With Shawn and Gabriel. The promise to Gabriel i havent been able to keep because of his stupid injury- i finally managed to. Was fun and i tried cramping the entire Purpose Driven Life into this trip. Of course it didnt succeed.

But i still gained some liberating insight that i shared on mscbcgrocks.blogspot.com. Anyway, it was a great trip and i was glad i got to know these people better.

2) Jie's Birthday!

Ok, we did celebrate it early, but it was still enjoyable. And praise God for her 22 years. Food at Anges was sumptous. And yeap, it was a fantastic time of getting together, after getting back from HK.

3) Driving!

Woohoo. The ardous and tiresome and cumbersome journey of driving is over! Ok, it didnt feel like alot when i got it, cuz i somehow expected to. But now, I can be the one to shuttle people, rather than always requiring their assistance.

So glad about the independence! And yea, still quite apprehensive about using the highways and all..but takes time. And gotta start with a prayer man. Its too costly to even contemplate screwing up, whilst driving.

4) Birthdays!

Im not that excited about mine. Haha..like abit cynical about anything that could possibly happen. But for Torrence's, and Desmond's, and maybe Brendan's...its amazing what we can do for them, to make it special.

Am hoping to do so la. But probably concentrate on one only.
And there is nothing more wondrous, than the look of pleasant surprise..which im hoping to achieve. So, haha God help me, there's seriously NO time.

5) CNY

Managed to meet up with a few of them. Terrence, Jude, Sam, Evelyn, Adrian, Colin and Kenny. Although it wasnt exactly the easiest-to-be-free kind of experience, it was still nice after a long hiatus.

Engaged in an sms debate with Jude over comm. Was both intellectually and spiritually fulfilling and liberating la.

Met up with Alvin for supper. And had quite a fine chat, as always. Abt life, God, community, relationships..haha..

Also, Mel gave a poignant prayer for the family, during reunion. As to the years before, this one was a highlight of the evening. Another possible highlight would be the severe diarrhoea after...haha.

6) Lent

Though i hardly feel it is special, i am dying to make it a meaningful one. And PDL is a good way to begin. Takes serious dying of myself. Especialyl this year, with an especially many number of layers to go under, and discover. I guess the greatness lies in the excitement of such a daunting task.

7) People.

I realise that I do not have many to celebrate with. They are just too busy. In hong kong, i was saddened by the fact that i couldnt share my great achievement and joy with that someone- people i used to call and chat, people i used to go out over movies and sharing.. suddenly are too busy. It is quite a painful realization, but i guess a realistic portrayal of what will happen la. So cant let it affect me too much.

Nevertheless, there are people i've gotten alot closer to. That i praise God for. People i've begun admiring, appreciating and enjoying.

8) Achievement!

I chanced upon this website, for blogs, in gv.com. IT was some sorta competition among blogs for movies. I thought, why not? And posted the blog about Scent of A Woman.
Wow...they called me up to say that i am in the finals! So proud of myself. It caught me completely offguard, and I was really proud of that something for once.

For once in my life, my sole interest, and my passion, didnt go un-noticed or dismissed with 'waste of time', 'does nothing for you'..etc etc. And in a certain sense, I am glad that I have a great interest. Its like you're defined by what you care for..that sorta thing.

So thank God, for wondrous events. And may there be more to come!!