Hush.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
♥ Sunday, February 05, 2006
Booking in in about 2 hours time. See if i'll get the chance to drop by ado.
I think, one thing adoration does for me, is that it allows me to be quiet. Not that my life is buzzing with activity. But, somehow, at certain moments of life, when the doing just doesnt seem right anymore, stopping and being still restores that certain "equilibrium" of life. Ok, sounds abit cheem, even to myself. Sanctuary, calmness, serenity, peace. Thats i guess, a tiny interpretation of what 'equilibrium' could mean.
Week after next, i'll be goin to thailand for a good 3 weeks. Man, i wonder whats THAT gonna be. Realise i sometimes escape and distract myself to find this quietness. At this point in time, its books. Obviously. Naturally. i escape into the realm of the author's thoughts, imaginations and for that little half an hour, i have my space. A space independent of the questions, independent of the struggles, a space that i see not myself, but the story. i somehow begin living by sieving out negativity. All in attempts to be quiet, i guess.
Past week have been a weekend of unprecedented events. The chain reaction of Cause and Effects. The soccer and thus the sprained leg. The sprained ankle and thus the un-accomplished tasks. The un-accomplishments and thus the very nice meeting ups with Val and Mel. The very nice meeting ups and thus the flow of thoughts. The flow of thoughts and thus, this damn blog entry, haha. But what i found, is that it really, really does feel good to be in community. Again.
Evelyn (church one) mentioned the challenges of leadership in the community. And then, quite inevitably i think, she asked me what i thought. I must have blanked out. Thats the truth i guess, of every 'leadership' talk in community. A deadend. A deadend reasoned by a lack of experience, an inferiority, a lack of commitment, an inability to commit..blah blah blah. Reasons, excuses, however i or you might wanna see it.
Got to talk to someone who was quite sad recently. Somehow i've walked the path she walked, but whilst she shared, and i empathized the despair she was chained to, i couldnt verbalize how i walked out of mine. Did God make so little sense in that little conversation we had that i could not let her see the reality and power of His love? And then it struck me too, that on dealing with one's own demons, the dismissal of it is the beginning of healing. Just how at that time, studies and the chance to do a little at Tanjong Balai gave me some form of an "out", so must we break out and distract ourselves from the hypnotism of depression. Maybe, deep within, its another call to just be quiet. Really, quiet.
So, its a fruitful wkend. And thanks to those who dropped by and who were concerned. Appreciate it!
